| wow |
[30 Dec 2006|03:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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band of horses - wicked gil |
] |
well, i am really surprised to see this thing is still available. a part of me is really happy that i can continue using this journal. another part of me is really sad that i have to read the posts of a slightly more immature young man that couldn't just get rid of a dream girl. i guess that's the beauty of it all... and it's not like i've changed a ton. i don't want to discredit my progress though. anyway, i'm looking forward to starting afresh. if any of my old friends remember me or are interested in reestablishing a friendship, please comment. otherwise, i'll start from scratch. gnight!
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| carifornia |
[28 May 2004|09:31am] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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rilo kiley - wires and waves |
] |
ill be in california the next week. visiting my old home palos verdes and hanging out in dana point. i wonder how many people play phantom planet's "california" when they enter the state lines or start their road trip to the golden state or even enter...THE OC. cause i know i sure as heck will. right after i finish listening to mariacha music for 10 hours.
if you're an old friend peeking in from pv, give me a ring. we'll chat. bye, thanks for stopping by.
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| new york state of mind |
[23 May 2004|03:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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thankful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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damien rice - delicate |
] |
hey. im sorry im not that great of an lj friend. i wish i could be better, but i really don't know how? if we were friends in this real world place, i'd be much better i promise. and i don't just throw the p-word around. but i'll try to be better.
as some of you know, i'm mormon. yup. one of those crazy no drinking no smoking no sexing kids who goes to parties that consist of playing twister over a 6-pack of sprite. anyway, at 19, young men go on 2 year "excursions", otherwise known as missions, to serve the church. there are missions all over the world in all sorts of languages. the presidency of the church decides where and when you'll be serving. i got my assignment this wednesday to serve in new york new york spanish speaking. i'm really excited. my area includes downtown manhattan and the bronx and harlem and surrounding neighborhoods. it's going to be wild. i'm sure i'll fit right in...haha. little white boy playing street ball in harlem with huge black guys. that's gonna be rad. anyway, since this IS a journal, i thought i'd mention it. i leave july 7th, so after that it will be another 2 years before i post. weird. but we can write letters...and i would LOVE letters from any and all. i'll write back. and it will come in your mailbox! real letters are sooo much better. there's emotions and smells and strange red smudge marks that must either be ketcup or blood. ill post my address later once july 7th gets closer.
in other news, i golfed today. also, i injured my leg 2 months ago from a pretty bad crash longboarding when i thought it'd be a good idea to hang ten going 30 mph with oncoming traffic. my leg still hurts. i think i might have done something not so cool. i should have just drank my milk. the cows were right.
the shins are playing thursday night. me = going.
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| life unscripted |
[18 May 2004|03:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
frank sinatra - come fly with me |
] |
i watch tlc a lot. any show that ends in "story" on that channel has got my name written all over it. a makeover story, a baby story, a wedding story. you can find me on my couch at noon watching any number of these shows and talking back to the tv. when my mom comes home for lunch, sometimes she hears me mumbling something or other in the family room and she gets excited that someone else might be here to keep me company...hahaha. little does she know tlc is all the company i need. i am just so fascinated by everyone else's stories.
( tlc analysis )
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[16 May 2004|04:34pm] |
just an expansion on my non-committal make out service...
i have a domain name for it...www.takeOUTmakeOUT.com... eh? eh? get it, cause it's like fast food...you drive up, let them know what you want, they let you know what they want, you get what you want, and then you drive away. and no...this isn't prostitution. these are consenting individuals looking for a little "lip service." and then there would be a photographer on hand like they have at the front gates at amusement parks so that once the "session" is over, one can purchase the photos and run home and post the pictures on livejournal so that they will no longer be left out of the "look here's a picture of me and my boyfriend making out, aren't you jealous?" club.
this might just be the idea that my psychic's been telling me about. this could DEFINE my life. $$$$$$$$
( this is how this idea makes me feel... )
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| let's dance |
[16 May 2004|03:32am] |
| [ |
mood |
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chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
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belle and sebastian - if she wants me |
] |
i just saw some hanson music video with samaire armstrong, otherwise known as anna from the oc. i really do love her. i hope she knows it. and i hope she has a place for me in heart. i always wonder if celebrities look up their name on the internet to see what crazy freaks write stuff about them. i know if i was famous, i'd be on the internet ALL the time investigating. and then if people bashed me, i'd respond as an "intense fan." and i'd say things like, "johnny is seriously so awesome. i bet he has like 1000000 girlfriends. one of my girlfriends made out with him...she said it was sooo amazing. like, what a stud. love, i<3johnny332." and i'd make sure there were a bunch of random numbers at the end, signifying the popularity of that handle. i spend my thinking time so wisely...
anyway, yea, samaire and hanson. hanson...they bring back bad memories. so i was like 12 or 13 when that "mmmbop" song came out. i liked it. so i saw the music video after i had heard it like twice. basically...i thought the middle hanson was a cute girl. and then my dad told me it was a guy...i don't think he's ever looked at me the same. i hate hanson. i hate the middle hanson. it's not my fault he looks like a girl. im justified.
they really need a non-committal make out service. just hook two people up for the night to make out. it could be monitored and safe and everything and lots of people would wake up the next morning much happier. HAPPY! because making out triggers the happy nerve in the brain, even if it is a complete stranger.
i also want to work at a costume store when im married so i can get discount rates. nurses, mechanic, secretaries, cavemen, panda bears, santa.....i can't wait.
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| the hills are alive |
[15 May 2004|02:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
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rilo kiley - the execution of all things |
] |
oh man. i think i've officially entered the "i have no life" stage. this is about the point where i get excited if i have one thing planned for the next week. like next week i'm going out to lunch with my mom and grandparents at some mexican restraunt. and just thinking of it makes me all giddy. i feel like getting my favorite shirt and pants out and laying them on the ground with my shoes and socks under the pant cuffs like i did the night before the first day of 2nd grade. high five for being 10 again. cool.
cool. cool. crap. you know it's late when words start losing their meaning and spellings in your head. cool. that doesn't look right. or sound right. crap. next paragraph.
i went to wal-mart today with the explicit purpose of watching people. i walked in, sat at the bench by the door, and watched. it was perhaps the most exciting 30 minutes all week. but that's not saying much. i've determined that the typical demographic makeup of an average wal-mart shopper is a white female, dirty blonde hair, jean shorts, white shirt with some flower insignia on it, socks that cover the ankle, accompanied by a child 5 years in age with a black shirt purchased approximately 7 months before from the same wal-mart, disshelved brown hair, and a dirt-smeared face with traces of a red candy recently eaten visible around the mouth. i saw a few mullets, i saw some trashy 13 year olds who barely had clothes on, and i saw a midget. it was a good day for people watching.
something's missing from this equation... johnny + _______ = normal. hmmm. oh yea. a life. or mary kate and ashley olsen...but i guess that would require 2 lines. i always lose with logistics.
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| eyes wide open |
[12 May 2004|03:28am] |
| [ |
music |
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now it's overhead - a skeleton on display |
] |
i got chinese food tonight. i got a fortune cookie. what does my fortune read? "actions speak louder than words." what the fuh? isn't there a reason why they are called FORTUNE cookies. the people who makes these cookies have to worry about one thing, and that's writing fortunes down, and they can't even do that. actions speak louder than words? i don't want instruction or philosophical enlightening...i want to know if i'm going to get naked anytime soon. oh the little things in life.
found a cute survey and decided to steal it. you make a soundtrack to your life. fun...these surveys take a long time:
( the ultimate soundtrack. period. )
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[11 May 2004|01:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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iron and wine - naked as we came |
] |
oh journal. how i neglect you so. i've been cheating on you with another journal. one with real paper, real smells, and real ink. i've found that real hardcopy journals are much more satisfying. because you can write things violently that can't really be expressed the same way as this computer dealy. but i do like making my presence on this world wide web.
it's kinda anticlimatic to come home from school when you live down the street. i see people who are still in high school and i tell them proudly, "yea. i'm back from college." haha. what a loser. i am going to apply at denny's tomorrow. graveyard shift. sounds like a promising career eh? i really just want to be in the kitchen and listen to gipsy kings and get with all the white trash waitresses. update's will follow on the progress of my various goals.
for some reason, i started thinking about my elementary school and playing at recess today. then i got the most messed up idea/image in my head. for some reason, i saw myself going to my school's playground and approaching the swings, walking with much sway and expressing the face of deep concentration and recollection. as i walk, madonna's "this used to be my playground" begins playing in the background, and this 18 year old boy, me, begins singing really loudly to the tune. i then jump on the swings still singing in a deep creepy voice and i swing and i swing until i flip off the swing, land, and begin to cry and run to the slide simultaneously as the song progresses. i could just picture this madman singing and running around the playground. all the while, all these elementary school kids are just surrounding the sandbox holding hands and swaying to the music, but all have faces that show discontent and appear as if they are all about to vomit. finally, i reach the summit of the slide and i scream as i ride it down and as i reach the bottom i let my limp body just fall into the sand getting sand all over my wet face and tight clothing. i told you i was messed up. don't hold it against me.
i don't have any friends here. therefore, i've committed to meeting up with someone i've met over the internet by the end of the summer. why these two things correlate...i don't know. goodbye for the night. hello for the new day.
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| well i woke up this morning to rainbows in the sky. |
[13 Mar 2004|06:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jack johnson - moonshine |
] |
maybe a good way to get back into the swing of things is to do one of those little survey things...
Last car ride: yesterday night to a bonfire by the lake.
Last kiss: a month ago
Last good cry: december. and a long december it was.
Last library book checked out: the giving tree by shel silverstein
Last movie seen: amelie
Last cuss word uttered: damn
Last beverage drank: strawberry fanta
Last food consumed: egg and ham bagel
Last crush: orange crush. last night...hahahahaha...soo funny. shut up.
Last phone call: last night at the bonfire
Last TV show watched: the 5th wheel. love that show.
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: sandals
Last CD played: jack johnson - on and on...spring is here
Last item bought: sunflower seeds at 7-eleven
Last downloaded: the shins - oh, inverted world cd
Last annoyance: arguing about cats
Last disappointment: not getting my wisdom teeth taken out this week with my sister and lounging at my house for a week.
Last soda drank: fanta
Last thing written: research paper for english on affirmative action
Last key used: my dorm room key
Last words spoken: "i got to catch one more sesh before the sun sets. the conditions are epic." (these words were spoken in a sarcastic tone as i departed on my longboard)
Last sleep: last night til 2 pm
Last IM: molly and smarterchild
Last ice cream eaten: strawberry banana shake
Last time amused: 30 minutes ago
Last time wanting to die: a while...a long while
Last time in love: a few months
Last time hugged: yesterday
Last time resentful: yesterday
Last chair sat in: the one im in right now. what do most people sit on...ehhh. stupid question
Last lipstick used: my mom's when i was 3
Last underwear worn: watermelon boxers from gap
Last time dancing: last night
Last poster looked at: endless summer poster
Last web page visited: drudgereport
1 MINUTE AGO: i looked outside
1 HOUR AGO: i was longboarding and playing volleyball
1 DAY AGO: i was at a bonfire
1 WEEK AGO: i was at preference dance
1 YEAR AGO: i was thinking about how cool college would be
I HURT: two months ago when i realized love ain't that cool
I LOVE: good happy upbeat positive thoughtful music
I HATE: disturbed and system of a down. how can you constantly be that pissed off?
I FEAR: circuses...circi? no i think it's circuses. and midgets.
I HOPE: there's a girl waiting around the corner that's ready to have a healthy reciprocating relationship.
I FEEL: happy and sunburnt
I HIDE: my emotions
I DRIVE: a longboard
I MISS: my truck and the ocean
I LEARNED: what 'rents meant today
I NEED: to take a shower before the night begins
I THINK: someone else is probably looking out their window right now and looking at the same mountains i am.
well. the weather is beautiful. there is life in people's eyes again. it's a beautiful thing to wake up and see everyone playing frisbee and football and laying out listening to music. a very good thing.
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[11 Mar 2004|01:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ben harper - gold to me |
] |
live journal...that's right. this thing still exists. not that i think that when i leave it doesn't exist. im not that self-centered. what am i typing. i don't know.
i have a firm belief that this livejournal thing is healthy. i guess i haven't had very much drama lately. i think i have a pretty good idea why too. see there are these things called girls. what happens when you like one of these "girls" alot is you start to get all emotional and fussy and unsure about every little detail of this other thing called "life." these girls will keep tearing away at your insides until you realize you no longer have a social life and friday night's consist of crying on your bed (are you serious?) hah. see...self-help. anyway, eventually there is a breaking point. this is about the time you sever ties and get back to the way things were. and the way things once were are good. and then everything is good. then your life consists of playing james bond on n64 late into the night with friends, longboarding and getting pulled by automobiles with ropes at high speeds, and crying that anna left the oc. that's life.
ok. the oc. i originally started watching because a lot of it was filmed in my hometown of palos verdes. the more i watched, the more i realized i was quickly falling victim to the plot. and before long, i knew i had a problem. i began learning the characters names, their problems, their likes, their lives. and now i am a full fledged level 5 victim of oc addiction. it's sick. but i don't feel all that guilty about it for some reason. and the love of my life is on the show. samarie armstrong. the whole package. my love travels over the deserts and lakes and oceans and into her little hand. i hope she accepts it.
i'd like to see who is still around on here. im sure you all are more dedicated, so i've got some catching up to do on your lives. hope all is well. byeee.
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[22 Jan 2004|02:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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toadies - possum kingdom |
] |
going to savers for some thrifting maddness. sickly awesome. huh.
haiku4u
i really hate girls
but i dont like boys either
ill just kiss dead things
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| be there |
[16 Jan 2004|05:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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norah jones - come away with me |
] |
directions:
1. remove from package.
2. find air hole. remove cap and begin blowing long breathes into the nozzle. *caution*. make sure you take breaks and if you begin to feel light headed, cease blowing immediately.
3. once filled, prop up on a chair or couch.
4. congratulations! your "blow-a-friend" is now read to be your friend! enjoy.
these are the directions i will use once my creation is created. just an inflatable doll that makes you seem like you have friends. the best part is, they have to be. i was even thinking about having pre-programmed phrases that it will say..."you're super neat! i love being your friend!" or "do you work out everyday? you look huge!" or "i can't believe other people don't like hanging out with you. if i wasn't a guy, i'd make out with you!"
oh gosh. what has it become. what started as a decent week has slowly festered into an open wound. let's see...monday. i can't quite remember the details of monday. tuesday. i hung out with erin. she fell asleep. i decided to go home early, cause what fun's a friend when they are not conscious. came home to the dorms. did my homework. hated life for a while. wednesday. went to classes. ended classes relatively happy. caller erin up. talked to her. she wanted to take a nap. called her 5 hours later. she just woke up and needed to "do homework". went over to jeff's room to hang out. he decided he wanted to go to the library at 9 pm and do some homework. at this point i was ready to kill people. mmm...kill people.
( if you want to feel better about yourself... )
so today jeff decides that the library will be sweet at 6. once again, longboarded in the freezing weather. this time to the thrift shop. made some nice purchases (pictures later) and returned.
( more messy drunk talk )
im sure what i just wrote didn't make sense. it's 5 am and i haven't done my homework. nectar sweet.
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| please please me like you want to |
[12 Jan 2004|10:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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jack johnson - holes to heaven |
] |
howdee. there we were stuck in fort blair where boats break and children stare.
so i've got a photo journal of this saturday's activities. yay! that's right. it was a pretty swell night all in all. so i've decided this deserves its own section...
( good charlotte is east coast punK rAwk! ride or die!!1 )
that was the weekend. the week has come. school is back. i hate. i'm getting really moody. at some moments i feel empowered to finish all of my homework and then go write songs and then go get supplies and then go longboarding and take over the world with my pants down and not caring. but then 5 minutes later, i decide that doesn't sound so neat, so i just sit on my bed and watch my screen saver mock my life. and mock it does until i get fed up and try to sleep away my time.
from now on, i will no longer love girls or humans for that matter. i will love the only thing i know how to love and know will love me back...my pilot g-2 .07 pens.
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| i think i threw up a little |
[10 Jan 2004|05:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sublime - jail house |
] |
someone sent me an email that asks all these silly questions in which you have seven answers for each. i decided instead of spamming all those emails, i can still fill them out, and not continue the tormenting disease that spreads like wildfire...anyway.
( cool is a four letter word )
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| can't quite breathe fully |
[03 Jan 2004|12:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
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mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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turtle island string quartet - julie-o |
] |
today i want to be a bull riding champion. tomorrow. who knows. but today, i want to be a bull riding champion. everyone thinks they're cool. everyone. you can't deny a rodeo kid. and you don't get sponsored by phat farm or gatorade but instead wranglers and jim bean. i think that's awesome. but also, i think it would be neat to be a really cultured rodeo man. i retain my musical tastes rooted in classic rock and indie tunes, when interviewed by the tv people i express my extreme hatred of good charlotte and the likes who completely deface music's purpose, and have an asian girlfriend. for some reason, that sounds really neat to me.
new years happened. once again, happy retrospective new years. i hope the last year didn't beat you too bad and you're on feet and ready to attack this year. i spent the eve of the fresh annual holiday in the city of salt lake. lots of people. i spent most of my time running around shouting "801" because i think it's really neat when people represent their area codes, especially when 801 is the only area code in the state. it was a fun night. time to score in 2004. i was sad that i didn't pursue a kiss to bring in the year, but i was surrounded by guys and a woman who was far too drunk and old to be wearing what she was wearing.
i ordered a digital camera the other day, so when i return to the dorms, i should have a little present waiting in my mailbox. and anyone who views this sad excuse for a journal will see really exciting pictures of some of the following things: people, pranks, and my thrift shop purchases.
happy new year again.
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| i want to be original |
[31 Dec 2003|02:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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azure ray - rise |
] |
let's see. more talking to her. i've discovered she lives two lives, very seperate one from the other. one where she lives here and she is friends with me. another where she lives back in washington at home with her high school friends and high school concerts. so when she comes back here, she's my friend, but when's she back home, not so much. i hate it. it sucks. her little friend box isn't nearly full here, so she can manage to put me in their, but heaven forbid i even think about being her friend without boundaries. once she leaves these state lines, there's bigger and better. she might have two lives and two criterias for friends, but you can only have one heart. i just hope somewhere i'm in there.
scheduled the studio thing. tuesday from 1-7. the countdown begins. i'm looking forward to it.
my mom sent me a cool quote. being such, i shall share it with all.
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
- -Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
goodnight. and don't be afraid to question the people who think they know their stuff...like them decca folks.
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| why come back to the sad man |
[28 Dec 2003|11:38pm] |
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so, i talked to her on the phone christmas eve. that was pretty good. and then i talk to her tonight via computer methods known as instant messenger. the tool that seems to let sarcasm slide and make everyone look like an ass. shouldn't have done that. she just rambles and rambles about nothing worthwhile. i can ask five times how she is doing and she'll just ramble on with words that sound funny. i think i asked her ten questions about how she was and what she was doing, etc. etc. and that's fine, but sometime it kinda stings when you realize they didn't ask you one thing. it's like that stupid country song by that big oafy guy toby something, "i wanna talk about me." and i'm not an egotistical or selfish person, but every once in a while it's nice to know that someone else wants to know how you are doing. especially if they are the cause of your saddness. maybe that's why she doesn't ask. maybe i am being selfish. eh.
i always feel really guilty about that kind of stuff. like when you walk by someone and they say, "hey, how's it going?" and you reply, "fine. thanks," and you leave it at that without reciprocating the question. sometimes i blame it on the timeliness and how i didn't have enough time to ask back, but then i think, well i should have asked them first then. why didn't i initiate it? anyway.
finished the words and structure to that boat song...don't know what to call it. i'm up for ideas. it can be a group project! i still hope it doesn't come off as cheesy. i just wanted it to be a nice fantasy for hopeless romantics like myself to fall back on when reality seems to bite. anyway, here goes:
go into the forest now and fetch me some wood
and some straw miss please, if you could
i will take this wood and build us a boat
and this straw now and weave us a rope
we will wait for a day when you're at your final plea
and take the tears you cry and form us a sea
then we can float this boat for days and nights alone
while with forever's time i'll write you pretty poems
chorus:
everyday we rest the sun will rise and set
the wind will drive us from these lands we soon forget
we will hide all these treasures we have found
but we treasure most, the love we boast, not found on solid ground
the fish will follow our path under the waves
we can hide from daylight waiting in the caves
beneath the stars we sit with promises we keep
talk as friends and love again together as we sleep
i will pull these clouds down to warm you when you're cold
and paint the skies in your eyes now as we grow old
if the air turns thick and you slip in the water blue
this rope i've tied between us means when you go i'll go too
chorus
break
chorus
fin
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| recollection of a time |
[28 Dec 2003|05:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sublime - poolshark |
] |
so it's been a few days. christmas has passed. merry retrospective christmas. that wasn't meant to sound sarcastic or snide, but i always think it's better late then never. so i think here would also be an appropriate place to forgive a boy named john back in california that i haven't forgave since i was in 1st grade. long story short, my teacher gave us all these huge candycanes that were as big as my leg and i proudly displayed it at lunch time to my friend john who then grabbed and pulled and began a tug-of-war for the coveted candycane. and in one momentous burst, the stick of sugar split in half, shards flying everywhere and me falling backwards to the cafeteria floor. dang. i felt my blood boil as i typed that. but anyway, john, i don't think i've talked to you for a few years, but if for some reason you stumble across this, i guess you're forgiven. ok. you are forgiven. was that so hard?
some guy just called me asking about some rolex watch he bought off me using ebay. problem was, i never sold a rolex watch. someone hijacked my ebay account and sold a watch from my account and then had them send the money to their email address. what is wrong with people these days. not very nice. i felt really bad for the guy on the phone.
going into the studio next week. that should be pretty fun. also, it's snowed 3 feet in the last 3 days. pretty crazy i tell ya.
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| give me a star, i'll give you a show |
[23 Dec 2003|01:06am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
update on the call thing. didn't happen. i don't really expect phone calls anymore, so i'm not really pissed, it's just why say anything if it's not going to happen...right?
being without her kinda puts me back in the mindset that it's not going to happen. as much as it sucks, this is probably a good thing. the time and her not being here. makes me realize life does go on. and even though it might suck and it seems like the clock stays at 4 pm all day, eventually the night comes and the traffic dies down and i get back in my bed to start it all over again. who knows.
more lyrics. if i plan on getting in the studio, i better have some stuff. so i guess that's the cause of the recent cranking out of words. at least they're coming out though...
go into the forest now and fetch me some wood
and some straw miss...please, if you could
i will take this wood and build us a boat
and this straw now and weave us a rope
we will wait for a day when you're at your final plea
and take the tears you cry and form us a sea
then we can float this boat for days and nights alone
while with forever's time i'll write you pretty poems
beneath the stars we sit with promises we keep
talk as friends and love again together as we sleep
if the air turns thick and you slip in the water blue
this rope i've tied between us means when you go ill go too
still not finished. it sounds really cheesy. but i thought i had a good idea. so im not about to scrap it over some cheesiness. anyway. sleep now, write later. yes. yes.
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